i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
