she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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