We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
