If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
