we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
