She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize