I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is the high leading the old right now
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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