if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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