Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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