There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
