Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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