Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
