playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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