dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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