i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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