I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
