actually, I'm a sock model
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
