got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
