I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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