I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize