I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i love accidental penises.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
