he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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