They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
