I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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