No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Drake has all the answers
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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