My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
