Betty ford says i'm here all night
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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