Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
