last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
