Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
