And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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