id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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