it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
