All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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