Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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