He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I party with great urgency now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
