I'm lost and stupid without you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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