Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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