is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize