even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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