she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
