So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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