just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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