i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
