Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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