Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't turn off my feet"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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