I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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