I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
