I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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