Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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