We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
