Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
