I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
