i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
