So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
