why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
