tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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