do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
