She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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