I want to make a zoo with you.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
