Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
