I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize